I had a discovery call with a coaching client last week that broke my heart a little. He was doing everything "right" in his outreach - researching prospects deeply, crafting personalized messages, really trying to connect. And he was getting killed by rejection.
Every "no" felt like a personal attack. Every unanswered email was a knife in his gut. He was ready to give up and switch to automation. "At least the robots won't feel the pain," he said.
I've been there. God, have I been there.
For years I tried to follow the standard sales advice - "get rejected 100 times," they said. "Build a thicker skin," they insisted. But my skin stayed thin and my heart stayed soft and eventually I realized something:
The problem wasn't my sensitivity. The problem was trying to override it.
See, sensitivity in sales isn't a bug. It's a feature. It's what allows us to really understand what people need, to genuinely care about their problems, to craft solutions that actually work.
But you need to use it right.
Think about dating for a second. Would you walk up to a stranger and propose sex? Of course not. You'd look for signs of mutual interest first. Maybe catch their eye across the room. Share a smile. Strike up a light conversation.
Sales works the same way.
Instead of cold pitching, I started looking for "warm signals" - people who were already talking about problems I could solve, who were asking questions I could answer, who were showing interest in topics related to my expertise.
When I reach out, I lead with value they've already indicated they want. Sometimes it's just appreciation for their work. Sometimes it's an insight into a problem they're wrestling with. Sometimes it's a genuine question about their experience.
No pitches. No asks. Just opening a door they might want to walk through.
Yes, this takes more time than blasting templated messages. Yes, it means I talk to fewer people. But the conversations I do have are real. The relationships I build are genuine. And the rejection rate? It's dropped to almost zero.
Not because I've gotten better at handling rejection. But because I've gotten better at reading the room.
You don't need a thicker skin. You need better radar.
And here's the wild thing - this approach actually scales better than mass outreach. Because real connections compound. Every genuine relationship builds your reputation. Every authentic interaction increases your reach. Every true fan brings more true fans.
It's the difference between throwing spaghetti at the wall and planting seeds in
fertile soil. So if you're sensitive like me, if rejection hits you hard, if you're tired of armoring up just to get knocked down - stop. You don't need to change who you are. You just need to change how you play the game.
Look for the open doors. Walk through them gently. Build real connections. The rest will follow.
(And if they tell you to grow a thicker skin, just smile and nod. They're playing a different game. Let them.)